Sleep Doula

I think Doulas are really special people. They will drop everything to spend 12 or more hours coaching you through labour and delivery. They will come to your house to cook, clean, and provide breastfeeding advice once your baby is born. Some even stay in your home for a few sleepless nights to correct your child's sleep problems.

Petra has been a terrible sleeper for the last couple months. She used to wake only once or twice but then she started to wake every 1.5 or two hours. My philosophy was always to feed her in the night if she actually ate something. I can tell you it's hard when your baby eats every 2 hours during the day, it's even harder if they're doing it around the clock.

Lots of my friends and our family doctor told me to follow the Ferber Method to get her to sleep better but I couldn't stand the idea of letting her cry it out. At the same time, I was starting to feel really helpless, tired, and resentful. Then my Ontario Early Years Centre held a free sleep doula session. I signed up for it hoping to hear something new. 

The sleep doula had a lot of experience, she described Petra's sleep patterns exactly. While she wasn't really specific on tactics, she said every family has to follow an approach that they are comfortable with. In the session, I found out I was lucky because Petra does go to sleep on her own, her only issue was night feedings. 

We got Petra to fall asleep on her own months ago by following Ferber's advice of having a routine, being consistent, reading her cues, and stimulating her between naps. I also waited until I thought she was mature enough to fall asleep on her own. I rocked or jiggled her to sleep until she was almost 4 months old.

All I needed to hear from the doula was that Petra does not need to eat in the night and that by feeding her every time she woke, I was enabling her. I decided that I would tough it out for a few nights to see if I could correct her sleep problems on my own. I also decided at the outset that if I couldn't do it, I would call in a doula. 

The first night was tough. My approach: I decided I would not pick her up or feed her when she woke in the night. I soothed her back to sleep by talking to her, and giving her a soother and blanket. Touching her face really helped (a suggestion from the doula because she's breastfed). She also kept rejecting the soother so I gave up on it after a while. We spent from 10:30pm-2am mostly awake with me soothing her. Then she slept 2-7am solid! I felt good in the morning.

The next night was a little easier. I was mostly only up with her 5-6am, and she gave Emil a hard time around 8pm. All other times I gave her a soother and she went right back to sleep. Then last night she woke at 7:30pm so Emil waited 3 minutes and went in. He soothed her back to sleep. She called out again at 9pm but only complained for 2 minutes and went back to sleep. She slept until 6am!! I soothed her back to sleep until 7am. 

The only reason I'm okay with a bit of crying is because she is really only protesting and not wailing. At this point she can't say 'mama' either which I think would be really hard on me. The doula had plenty of anecdotes and advice which all swayed me towards letting her cry for short periods. Far too many pros to write about here but if anyone wants, I can make a list and email it to you. 

I'm hoping she starts to sleep through the night now. That would be amazing. No matter what, I've realized that she really doesn't need to eat at night so that means I can meet up with friends in the evening again or go to basketball. That, and I've had 3 straight nights of better sleep.