Thursday, March 12, 2009

Shame on Me

I'm the mom who went on maternity leave, started a blog, and then abandoned her blogger responsibilities and I apologize for that.

About a month ago, I took a new position at a large telecommunications company. I finally started on Monday. The transition from mom-on-leave leading a life of leisure to a working mom has been interesting. I didn't want to write about it while I was experiencing it because I was a mess of emotion. I'm not saying I'm behind it but I do have better perspective today. 

I'm lucky to have an excellent support network around me. My sister-in-law helped on the first day by picking Petra up at the end of the day, and offering to take her every single Monday. And our childcare provider is fantastic, sending me daily reports and pictures of the baby's day. And my husband is handling all drop offs. 

I went back early (during the 10th month of a potential 52 week leave) and I'm definitely feeling some guilt about that. Petra is finally, after four days, looking like she's adjusting to the first major change of her life. I needed to go back to work. I love working, always have, it's fundamental to the kind of person that I am and I didn't want to return to my previous employer. The one major surprise was the way I started to lash out at the job when things weren't going smoothly. I started to think the job wasn't worth making Petra so upset. Now that she's better, I feel entitled to enjoy working again. I know this is just the first tug in a longer battle that I'll constantly face as a momma but I feel like I've leapt a large hurdle this week. 

Anyone else working through going back early? Or feelings you didn't expect?


  1. Yeah, I'm working through going back early. I have to go back every morning. And every morning it's way too early! :P

    Good luck with the new job. I'd offer to babysit Petra, but I don't think she likes me!

    Glad to see you're back to blogging!

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